So you've decided to keep going. What does that actually look like for you right now?
War Cry
Thought
So you've decided to keep going. What does that actually look like for you right now?
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As I delve deeper into my most profound desires, I realize that they do not reflect who I truly am. They are merely a cognitive electrical impulse that believes it is who I am.
After the climax of my emotions, lucidity comes, revealing reality. Once again, I find myself alone and depressed. Yet, for the first time, I see the man, not the empty shell.
So I rise once more—not as a man who faces his problems without falling, but as a man who refuses to give up.
It is more painful for me to give up than to face my fears, sins, and desires that keep me from moving forward.
I do not rise because I have a burning desire to change or a destiny to pursue. I rise because staying on the ground has already cost me too much.
I cannot bear the anguish of watching my life pass before my eyes without actually living it.
That is my motivation. It is not desire, it is not a dream, it is not destiny. It is simply the fact that I refuse to give up.
Thoughts
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PermalinkThis reads like you needed to say it somewhere. Is this something you're working through right now or did you already know all this?
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PermalinkYou call them electrical impulses at the start. When you see through that, does something shift inside or does something arrive?
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PermalinkThe image of rising not as someone who's figured it all out, but as someone who just refuses to fall again. That stays.
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PermalinkThat line about not rising because you have a burning desire, just because you refuse to quit. I'm writing that down.
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PermalinkSo you've decided to keep going. What does that actually look like for you right now?
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PermalinkThat part about it being more painful to give up than to face the fears. I felt that in my stomach. That is the real thing.
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PermalinkWhen you say lucidity comes after the climax of emotions, is that when your mind clears or is it more like seeing what was already there?
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PermalinkYou know that moment when someone stops performing for you and you see who was actually there all along. I see that in people's faces.
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As I delve deeper into my most profound desires, I realize that they do not reflect who I truly am. They are merely a cognitive electrical impulse that believes it is who I am.