Memoirs of a Lost Soul

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• DISTUBANCE Bad music, people smiling and laughing loudly.…

  DISTUBANCE Bad music, people smiling and laughing loudly. Me? Just here, writing. A girl a little way behind me was a bit forward when she greeted me with a handshake – a long, shamelessly caressing one. Another one – not just any girl; she doesn’t even look at me, nor do I dare to look at her. But I observed her: dazzling, kind, restless. Her contempt, her disdain and her lack of interest are clear. Of course, her outlook on life carries a bias that has been shaped by years of male…

• Memories and Fear

  Her linguistic quirks come to the fore when she chats casually with some of the pupils she likes; her intellectual repertoire is evident, but her cheerfulness and enthusiasm when she is being…

• The Restless and the Reserved

  “… Where will my mind wander in this valley of dangerous feelings? …”: the letter is haunting me once again. Damned and astonishingly good memory. Fear and shame – the chance to put an end to them…

• The End?

  A year ago, I was in debt to the tall man, needing just a few points to get rid of him. (Fortunately, not in the way you might first think.) He was… Is that relevant? I just remember that he had a…

• The Last Time

  “… I can tell the difference between things; I’m not an idiot, but an idiot in love! …”: am I being haunted?

• The Scorned

  She is sitting opposite me, focused on the papers she is handling on the table. (I didn’t look up to observe her.) A short while ago, she had arrived cheerful, in her ‘normal’ state, almost as if…

• The Little One and the First

  I hope I’m wrong, but I’ve already been let down three times. I’ve already mentioned the most recent one… Let’s start with the first. She was a young woman with short black hair, sharp features, a…

• Despair

  — ‘I’ve got no one to sit here with me… Don’t you want to?’ — Those words were spoken a long time ago by the person I mentioned was sitting next to me on a rainy day, and whom I see every day… which…

• Desire

  — He treats me as if I were nothing… I saw him with her… — she said, between sobs, trying to hide her tears, which she wiped away with her already slightly reddened eyes.

• Would that be prudent?

  — When I was alone, my mind would seek you out… And when I remembered those eyes upon me…

• Smiling Again

  — Why are you like that?

• Embarrassment?

  — She’s calling you.

• Rascal

  — You’ll be able to choose who will accompany you.

• A Short Time

  I must have seen her (‘by chance’) as I was walking down the corridor. She was standing outside a classroom with another teacher. She was wearing a cream-coloured shirt; I can’t remember what…