Mirrors & Windmills

There is no escape from oneself. Escaping who we are is impossible; all we can do is surrender, grow accustomed to what we see, and learn to live with our own reflection.

The valley of shadows is not dark. It is made of everything we refuse to see.

We do not change by erasing who we were, but by adding new layers to who we are. Sometimes, our past seems to belong to a stranger with whom we share the same memories. Even so, that person is also us.

If we invested in ourselves the energy and time we waste trying to run away, perhaps we would discover that the greatest obstacle was never what we did, but the pride that kept us from acknowledging our mistakes and learning from our successes.

We make excuses, shift the blame onto others, and edit our own lives to preserve the image we want to have of ourselves. We do this out of prejudice, pride, or fear of admitting we were wrong. We would rather distort our own history than accept that we were not always right.

There are three ways to escape.

The first is to face ourselves. To look at the past without editing our memories, acknowledge our mistakes without erasing our achievements, and accept our contradictions without feeling the need to justify them. It means abandoning pride as a shield and using experience as a lesson. It does not mean liking everything we find, but understanding that we cannot add anything new to ourselves while denying what is already there.

The second is to fight ourselves. To turn our own existence into an endless battle, wrestle with our thoughts, and keep fighting until we reach our physical and psychological limits. It is believing that strength can overcome what understanding has failed to reach, while ignoring the damage this war can inflict on our health. Instead of learning to live with themselves, people try to defeat themselves, as if it were possible to walk away unharmed from a fight against their own existence.

The third is to forget ourselves. To gradually lose the memories that sustain our personal history, until the past becomes inaccessible. Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia can impair memory, autobiographical identity, and the ability to recognize parts of one's own life story. This is not a choice, a voluntary surrender, or a conscious escape, but a condition that can deprive someone of access to what they have lived through.

Three paths, three relationships with our own existence: understanding ourselves, fighting ourselves, or losing access to the memories of who we once were.

In the end, perhaps the question is not how to escape ourselves, but how much longer we are willing to waste trying.

Because the mirror does not demand that we like what we see. It does not ask us to be proud of our past or justify our failures. It simply reflects an image back to us.

And perhaps true freedom begins when we stop trying to destroy it.

We romanticize our own fiction, turning ourselves into heroes of a lost cause that was doomed from the very beginning of our own journey. We build narratives in which we are the protagonists of grand battles, but while we believe we are fighting giants, the world around us sees nothing but ruins and windmills.

We are Don Quixote, trying to give meaning to our existence through a battle that may never have been what we imagined. And perhaps the most painful part is not fighting windmills, but realizing that we spent so much time trying to be heroes that we forgot to ask whether there was anyone to save at all... or whether we simply needed to accept the reality that had always been right in front of us.

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