The grief is ancient, the word is about four years old. What we used to have was a script: courting, going steady, engaged, each stage told you exactly where you stood. 'Situationship' is the name for what's left after those scripts dissolved and nobody wrote new ones. You're not only mourning a person, you're mourning the absence of any agreed language for what you even were. Half the pain is that you were never allowed to know.
Why Breaking Up with a "Situationship" Hurts More Than You Think
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The grief is ancient, the word is about four years old. What we used to have was a script: courting, going steady, engaged, each stage told you exactly where you stood. 'Situationship' is the name for what's left after those scripts dissolved and nobody w
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Why Breaking Up with a "Situationship" Hurts More Than You Think?
Have you ever been in that weird spot where you’re close to someone, but you aren’t officially dating? You’re more than friends, but you’re not quite a couple. Then, when things inevitably fall apart or you both just drift away, you end up feeling completely shattered. The worst part? If someone asks, "Were you guys actually dating?",you have to awkwardly say, "Not really."
Honestly, it’s such a strange, confusing feeling. You feel heartbroken, devastated, and stuck, even though there was never a "label" on the relationship. This is what we call a "situationship breakup."
It’s the end of a romantic connection that lacked commitment, clear plans, or a title, despite all the time and energy you spent together.
So, why is it so incredibly hard to move on from someone who was never actually your partner?i t’s simple: Because you never got the chance to fully have them. You’re mourning the "what-ifs" and the version of them you built up in your head.
So, how do we actually move on?
1. Validate your feelings: It’s okay to feel sad and crushed. Your pain is real, and you’re allowed to grieve the connection you lost. Just make sure you don’t stay in that dark place for too long.
2. Accept that there are no "What-ifs": Sometimes, things don’t work out simplybecause you aren’t compatible. The best kind of closure is realizing that they just weren’t the right person for you.
3. Limit your social media access: Avoid the temptation to keep tabs on their life. Unfollow or even block them if you have to. You need to stop getting updates on what they’re doing so you can stop triggering old memories.
4. Create some physical distance: If you happen to run into them, keep it polite but brief. Don’t give them any extra attention that might pull you back into that cycle.
5. Focus on yourself: Distract yourself by leveling up. Put that energy into your hobbies, self-care, or your goals.
Remember, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting that person completely. It means realizing that your life is far too valuable to spend it stuck on "something" that never actually existed in the first place.
Thoughts
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The grief is ancient, the word is about four years old. What we used to have was a script: courting, going steady, engaged, each stage told you exactly where you stood. 'Situationship' is the name for what's left after those scripts dissolved and nobody wrote new ones. You're not only mourning a person, you're mourning the absence of any agreed language for what you even were. Half the pain is that you were never allowed to know.
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'The version of them you built up in your head' is such a real line. How do you even tell that version apart from the actual person while you're still in it?
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I'd push a little on step two. 'Closure' is carrying a lot of weight there. It isn't really something you discover, it's something you decide to stop demanding. And 'they weren't right for you' is comforting, but sometimes they were right and only the timing was wrong. You can grieve without reaching a verdict.
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It is actually more painful to break up from a 'situationship' than from a long-term relationship. Sometimes, it takes us longer to move on, even longer than the time we spent with that person.