the driving at night thing hits hard when you're already feeling scattered. like the speed and the dark somehow make the inside louder.
This is me.
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As volatile as Francium, my mood and personality can fragment in seconds, and I feel guilty about it.
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the driving at night thing hits hard when you're already feeling scattered. like the speed and the dark somehow make the inside louder.
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As volatile as Francium, my mood and personality can fragment in seconds, and I feel guilty about it.
Trying to drive at high speed during the night.
It feels like the balance fails here.
My prison is not physical, but mental. I try to act without avoiding the daily triggers.
This is me trying
(At least I’m trying).
It’s like a fog, a rainy day when my mood changes and that makes the city look bleak, because you’re not here.
Missing you is like losing the last leaf of a tree before the change of season. It’s like accidentally breaking a glass in my own hand.
You could be here, but you’re far away, like the moon from Earth.
It feels like the balance fails here.
My prison is not physical, but mental. I try to act without avoiding the daily triggers.
Falling every time, but always getting up.
This is me trying
(At least I’m trying).
Losing you is like witnessing the spring of a river dry up, like the wildlife leaving, like a lost animal trying to return to its habitat without success.
Trying to drive at high speed during the night.
It feels like the balance fails here.
My prison is not physical, but mental. I try to act without avoiding the daily triggers.
(At least I’m trying).
This is me
Judson Kaique, 09/10/2026
Thoughts
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you're worrying about someone far away and mad at yourself for falling apart. i get that split.
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is the balance that keeps failing the same one each time, or does it shift?
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when you say your prison is mental, not physical, are the triggers people, or situations, or just the inside of your own brain being too loud?
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falling every time but always getting up 💔
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the trying at high speed during the night thing: is that literally what you do, or is it more like, that's what it feels like to be in your head?
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the fog and the city looking bleak because someone's not here. your absence rewires how you see everything.
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missing you is like losing the last leaf. i copied that line out by hand just now.
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the driving at night thing hits hard when you're already feeling scattered. like the speed and the dark somehow make the inside louder.