That detail about them both checking for danger (a habit she was quite familiar with by now) tells you everything about them.
Chapter 1 - First Draft
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That detail about them both checking for danger (a habit she was quite familiar with by now) tells you everything about them.
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With grease smeared fingers, Lynn wrestled a stubborn bolt of the bike she was working on. It had been easy to pinpoint the problem at first, but she’d spent the day waiting for parts to arrive, and the whole evening elbow-deep in the engine. Now changing this stupid battery was the only thing left to do.
She was determined to get it done before Nev came back.
As she sat back on the concrete floor of the garage, she heard the front door bang open, followed by a stampede of heavy booted steps.
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”
She surveyed her surroundings: a complete mess, as always. Then herself: also a mess, nothing new. She threw an old blanket over the bike, making sure it was completely covered.
Glancing at the clock had her knowing she wouldn’t be able to keep working. She sighed, went to brush her hair away from her face, but stopped when she noticed her dirty hand. Resigned, she crossed her arms, leaned against her worktable, and waited.
Boisterous laugh and cheery voices started filling the floor-level apartment. She couldn’t hear the advance of the group, but she could certainly imagine it. First the dropping on the couches, then the raiding of the fridge, the TV coming on to blast whatever sports match they could find.
Then a single pair of footsteps approaching.
“Hi, princess.” Called Nev as he opened the door. He made a quick scan of her face and body, looking for signs of danger, distress or injury. A habit she was quite familiar with by now, one she had adopted too.
Tilting her head back, she surveyed him from the boots up to his annoyingly handsome face. “Hi, stranger.”
He gifted her a half-smile Lynn was instantly proud of. Standing before her, he brushed the strands of hair she was battling with before. His eyes flicked to the bike behind. “It’s late.” A reproach.
She shrugged. “So what?”
His smile turned fiendish then, gaining a playful yet savage quality that made her stomach do back flips and caused her head to go blank. Without another word, he hooked an arm below her knees, the other below her armpits, and scooped her up.
“Wait! I still have stuff to do!” She started to try to get herself free, but Nev only held her tighter.
“Nuh-huh. None of that, princess. We are going to bed, right now.” He made for the door, but Lynn kept trying to fight his hold. “Bad girl.” He chastised, then switched his grip and flipped her body over a shoulder, ass hanging near his face. An ass he promptly gave a pat or two. For emphasis, she thought.
“What the fuck?” She was stunned for a second only. Then the outrage came, but it was halfhearted. “You asshole! Don’t you fucking dare.”
She could hear that smile widening as he answered. “Looks like I already did, princess.” Lynn only banged her fists in the stupid concrete wall that was his back as he carried her inside.
Of course, Nev didn’t give a shit who saw their little display He strode right through the living room. Beer cans were lowered, a few smirks were traded, but no one moved to stop him. Only one of the girls sent her a nod of acknowledgment, winking as they passed her. She didn’t stop cursing and trying to kick him in the face, though. Though she had some mercy and common-sense left to stay mostly still as they ascended the stairs.
Nev kicked the bedroom door open, strode for the bathroom, then unceremoniously dumped her ass on the sink.
“What the hell was that display for? You thinking on going all alpha male brute on me?” She accused, crossing her arms. She had to suppress the urge to pout like a spoiled kid. “You think you can be gone the whole day and come home to your sweet little girlfriend, huh? That she’ll be waiting patiently, like a fucking dog, without doing anything by herself?”
Nev only hummed as a response, biting his bottom lip while he let her rant off. That irritated her more. “I’ll have you know, you self-centered prick, that I was working on—” She closed her mouth and bit the inside of her cheek. She better checked herself before spilling this particular secret.
Lynn huffed. Nev raised an eyebrow. They locked eyes; a blinking contest had started out of nowhere.
It was always like this with them. The push and pull. The give and take. Lynn absolutely loved it. Who would give in first? Or who would trade the win for something better?
With a chuckle, Nev reached for her face with a hand. “You done?” His thumb started rubbing her cheek slowly. “Because I had a damn good day. One that made me think of my hardworking, hotheaded girlfriend.”
Voice going husky and low, he brushed his lips to the shell of her ear. “And how bad I wanted to pamper her tonight.” He ran his mouth down the column of her throat, slowly, languidly. He pulled back just enough for her to see that wicked glint in his eyes that promised a good time. “I know you liked it, princess.”
A full body shiver ran through her. Oh, fuck yes. Would she ever admit the manhandling was kinda’ hot sometimes? Never. So she kept quiet, leaning back in her hands, putting her neck just out of his reach. “I need to take a shower.”
“Is it bad if I say I quite like how you smell right now? Like motor oil, leather and sweat.”
Lynn scrunched up her nose. “Gross.”
“Maybe. But you smell like a true biker.”
(Insert sexy shower time I’m too lazy to write.)
Thoughts
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Zanne , starting of the story and the personality of the girl really good while reading the visuals were coming in front of me. Expecting for more
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That detail about them both checking for danger (a habit she was quite familiar with by now) tells you everything about them.
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The teasing between them feels effortless. Though I wonder if that'll hold up past the first chapter or if it's just initial charm.
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The immediate panic when he walks in is so real - like she already knows what's coming. That's the vibe you nailed.
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Quick question - is the bike work the whole plot, or is it more her headspace/independence thing that actually matters?
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Yes. I actually like that you "show, don't tell". You present the characters through actions, rather than saying Lynn is so and so, you just show through actions how they think and behave. I also like the push and pull dynamic you introduce with the personalities, while keeping a bit of playful conflict and banter...
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