at the end of the day people are really disappointing
its kinda funny when im not believe this words till it bacame into my life and ruined my life.
i think its just chit chat, but when someone suddenly close to me.
suddenly someone getting close to me, someone who is my first love and my first experience. we suddenly became closer but we didn't in relationships, so we just in "situationship", i never thought if i can getting closer with him cause i think he never love me back. we became partner who really like someone in relationships but the reality is no, we chatting 24/7, we always looking each other in the crowded, and we always smile when we eye contact in the hall of school.
he became someone i love the most, the boy i love so deep, the sweetest boy i ever meet, the handsome boy in the world and everything about him i love it.
till 1 month we had a relationship like that, my self sabotage come true, i always overthinking, i always anxiety, and i always askin if he still love me or no, everything it all i do just for secure my heart. small changes behavior abt him i always know and i always arguing it to him, and he really didn't bacame his old behavior, so from that, my overthinking always haunt my mind, im confusing, im scared, im tired. something in my head always force me to let him go, but i cant, im still fully love him and it's hard to suddenly leave him.
ive been with him for a month and a half, and nothing really happened except for his behavior starting to change. i was so proud to show him off to all my friends, and i even posted him on my socials. then, someone asked me, "r u with him?" (let’s call him E). i replied, "yes im with him".
that person then told me that he was still in love with his ex—and get this, when his ex asked him about me, he actually denied that we were even together. honestly, i was so shocked. everything i’d been overthinking about turned out to be true, he didn't actually love me. i was just his rebound to help him get over his ex.
i ended things right then and there. i blocked him on everything and deleted all our chats. a week later, i heard he was already getting close to one of my close friends. it hurt so much—it felt like a knife stabbing me right in the heart. i cried for days, lost my appetite, and my mood was a complete wreck. that went on for three months.
through all of that, i realized that someone u once loved so much can turn out to be the most disappointing person in the world.