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Being a murder and playing the victim

Deathheart
Public 2 conversations 5 thoughts 36 upvotes 4 downvotes 0 series 88 views

Just how i feel

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I like watching videos, taking with my parents, drawing, playing video games

But then, when I'm not doing anything my head starts talking. "Why do you treat yourself as a victim?" Says "you know everything, why you lie?" It doesn't stop, and to be true is always there, I just ignore it. I feel horrible like the guilt of killing someone, that someone was myself or best said, how I saw myself, it's just in pain, like someone that got just shot. I'm not dead, not in the head, but why does it feel like part of me was missing? That emptyness, is it that I stopped lying to myself of who I'm? Or is it just and illusion disappeared? I don't know,but i know i'm acting in a show that no one is seeing.it hurts,it burns,but i deserve it.

Thoughts

  • maybe_im_wrong

    The voice accusing you of lying is kinda proof you stopped lying, right? Like, if you were actually deceiving yourself, you wouldn't hear it. Weird that being honest hurts this much.

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  • just_curious_tho

    When you're drawing or talking with your parents, does the voice quiet down? Or is it only when you stop doing things?

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  • nodding_along

    That part about the show no one's seeing: I think you see it though. That honesty, that awareness, that's what's burning.

    Permalink

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