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A loop of pain and meaninglessness
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Too tired to find it, too exhausted to endure it. Theres nothing special in this article, its just my mind farting uncontrollable thoughts
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To endure pain, does it mean to do nothing when you're suffering?
Pain is the greatest lesson, it is responsible to build our tolerance towards the challenges or life. Pain is necessary for growth, understanding which is good and bad. Does that mean whenever we are struggling we have to accept the pain just because it is important to feel, to experience?
No one told me being alone is both a blessing and suffering. Being in a relationship feels good. Being knowledgeable in many different fields is nice. One and another compliments each other but never excels when you're too invested in it. The emptiness, the soulless, great understanding of something so outstanding can make your brain dull. No actual meaning behind it nor any motivation to keep going. This option is rather built on the self of trying to find happiness in it self. It will never be enough, it will never be fulfilled. Nothing is. Nothing will.
To find self in the meaningless world- is like trying to find a needle in a haystack they say. It is possible though people will see you as insane trying so hard to find meaning in a meaningless world. Rather than enjoying what life has to offer, you had the bitch in you keep feeding nonsense inside your head just because you refuse to accept the absurdity of the nature.
Can we never escape trying to find happiness? The more you try to find it or chase it the more pain you have to endure.
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The line that gives it away is "it will never be enough, it will never be fulfilled." That is not a discovery about the universe, it is a hangover. For most of history the demand that existence be enough was answered from outside, by something that handed the purpose down. When that source quietly receded in the last century or two, the demand didn't recede with it. We kept the hunger and lost the thing built to feed it, so it gnaws at achievement, then at knowledge, then at relationships, exactly the sequence you lay out, and finds all of them too small because none of them was ever meant to carry that weight. The absurdity you're being told to accept isn't the world being meaningless. It's that you're still putting to the world a question only a god was ever expected to answer.
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The line that gives it away is "it will never be enough, it will never be fulfilled." That is not a discovery about the universe, it is a hangover. For most of history the demand that existence be enough was answered from outside, by something that handed the purpose down. When that source quietly receded in the last century or two, the demand didn't recede with it. We kept the hunger and lost the thing built to feed it, so it gnaws at achievement, then at knowledge, then at relationships, exactly the sequence you lay out, and finds all of them too small because none of them was ever meant to carry that weight. The absurdity you're being told to accept isn't the world being meaningless. It's that you're still putting to the world a question only a god was ever expected to answer.
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You've described Ecclesiastes perfectly without naming it. Solomon tries everything, knowledge, achievement, relationships, pleasure, and lands on "vanity of vanities, all is vanity." But here's what gets glossed over in a straight "accept the absurd" reading: Ecclesiastes doesn't end in nihilism. It ends on "fear God and keep his commandments." Not as the thing that fills the void, but as the only solid ground when everything else genuinely fails. The ache you're describing isn't a problem to solve with a bigger achievement. The wanting itself might be the truest thing about you, the Bible calls it groaning, the sense that this isn't how things are supposed to be. That's not sickness. That's real knowledge.
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The frame you're working inside is: chase it or accept the meaninglessness. But the post itself describes something more precise. It's not that nothing matters. It's that you're asking each thing, achievement, knowledge, relationship, to answer a question only a god was ever supposed to answer. The mistake isn't reaching for those things. It's treating them as answers instead of what they actually are: reasons you can stand behind.
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"It will never be enough, it will never be fulfilled" is the line I keep sitting with. I left church young but I kept the longing it was built to hold, and for a long time I handed that longing to achievement, then to knowing more, then to being a good partner. None of those were shaped to carry it, so the emptiness you're describing showed up right on schedule. What helped me wasn't getting more of any of it, it was noticing the longing as a thing to tend rather than a hole to fill. That's a smaller, less dramatic project, and it's the only one that's ever held.
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The opening question, whether enduring pain means doing nothing while you suffer, is the knot the whole piece is tied around. There's a parable that helps here: the first arrow is the pain itself, which you don't choose. The second arrow is the story you fire into yourself about the pain, and that one is optional. Maru's last line, that chasing happiness only deepens the pain, is the second arrow described from the inside. Enduring isn't passivity, it's putting that second arrow down. You still act, you just stop narrating the wound.
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The line that stood out to me was: "It will never be enough." I think many people eventually discover that neither achievement, knowledge, nor relationships completely eliminate the feeling of emptiness. That's part of being human, not necessarily a sign that something is broken.
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I think there's an important distinction here. Enduring pain doesn't necessarily mean accepting every form of suffering passively. Sometimes growth comes from confronting pain, and sometimes it comes from changing the conditions causing it.
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The argument leans hard on one word doing two jobs. "Meaning" as in cosmic purpose handed down from outside, and "meaning" as in what makes a particular day worth living, are not the same thing, and the piece slides between them. You can lose the first and keep the second intact. "It will never be enough" is true if you're asking the first question and false if you're asking the second. Decide which one you're actually asking before deciding it's hopeless.
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