The hobby's yours though. Killing something that makes you happy just to prove a point to acquaintances seems backwards.
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The hobby's yours though. Killing something that makes you happy just to prove a point to acquaintances seems backwards.
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It was Friendship Day in my country a few days ago, and a rather dear friend of mine was making appreciation posts of all her friends, myself included. She wrote very lovely words for everyone, on how they made her life better, and for me, she wrote about my "impeccable sense of style". Now, I love her and it is very sweet of her to say so, but I had to pause for a second. I had been with her and helped her out through so many situations where my sense of style had no role whatsoever. Why did everyone else get called loyal, honest, funny and so on and why was I there just for dressing up?
I would like to establish that I adore dressing up. I don't really "save" outfits for the occasion and really go all out because it makes me happy. Building outfits is sort of a hobby and it fetches me compliments and new friends all the time, which was wonderful at first but I'm starting to hate it, and I feel like that sounds silly. I know I like compliments as much as the next person, so why am I irritated now? It's pretty clear that people only see that obvious part of me in college, and I have my safe and very dear group of friends who see me as much more, and if I may blow my own horn, I'm a pretty great friend, but it really is starting to piss me off when my hi-bye acquaintances keep telling me I have the best style. I'm a real asshole for that, I know, considering I still appreciate when my really close friends say they like my outfit. Now, the fix to this is to stop dressing up, obviously. Unfortunately, the very idea of letting go of this deeply therapeutic hobby of mine makes me upset, but I will have to slowly get there at some point. One cannot always act on that fun outfit idea, especially now that I'm an adult and will have to work in a place with a dress code.
I sound like a terrible and shallow person, but I can't help it. Yes, I am genuinely admitting to being sick of being told I'm "cool" all the time, I can't believe it either. I suppose I hate that that's all people see in me most of the time. I've just been in a horrible state of mind lately, and I hope this weird ick goes away.
Answers
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Accepted answer
Você não está irritada com o elogio, e sim com a sensação de ser resumida a ele. Gostar de moda não diminui suas outras qualidades, e você não precisa abandonar um hobby que te faz bem. Quem realmente te conhece enxerga muito mais do que suas roupas, mesmo que os comentários do dia a dia foquem no que é mais visível.
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This isn't silly. People do this thing where they slot you into one box and then act surprised when you're more than that.
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When you picture quitting, is it because you actually want to, or because you want to break how people see you?
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I'm terrified of being known for one thing too, though mine's way smaller than having style. At least your thing is something you built.
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The hobby's yours though. Killing something that makes you happy just to prove a point to acquaintances seems backwards.
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Sounds like the hi-bye people see you the way you'd know someone from the bus stop: one thing, repeated. Your close friends know different.
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Do the friends who see the whole of you ever tell you so? Or does that part stay quiet while the style talk fills the room?
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You're not shallow for wanting what you do to matter more than how you look doing it. That's just wanting to be seen as more than the surface.
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The gap between 'impeccable style' and 'actually there when it matters' is so real. One takes five minutes to notice, the other you have to live through.
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It was Friendship Day in my country a few days ago, and a rather dear friend of mine was making appreciation posts of all her friends, myself included. She wrote very lovely words for everyone, on…