WAITING....
"Waiting' is more than just a word to me. It is a chapter of my life that taught me patience, pain, and hope."
Like everyone else, I waiting for someone to come back. People often say that waiting is easy when you love someone, but no one talks about how heavy those days can feel.
Because of some family issues, he asked me to wait for a few days. I didn't question him. I trusted him. I believed that a few days would pass quickly and that everything would be okay again.
But a few days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into a month.
Every morning, I checked my phone, hoping to see his name. Every night, I went to sleep wondering if tomorrow would finally be the day.
Then yesterday, I saw a story uploaded in his insta id but he use his friend's phone to log in. The instagram story is "Everyone says she isn't right for me, but to me, she's the only one I want. She's the one I love." another one is "Every single day, I think about you. Not just once, but every moment. You're always on my mind, and I can't stop thinking about you."
It gives me hope. It was only a few seconds long, but it was enough to remind me that he was still there for me.
The story he posted gave my heart something I had been searching for—a little hope. Just one story, yet it was enough to remind me that maybe not everything is lost. But hope doesn't make the pain disappear. No matter how hard I try to smile, the weight we carry will never become lighter until the day we find our way back to each other.
Sometimes I ask myself if I should let him go. Maybe that's what everyone expects me to do. Maybe it would be easier. But how do you walk away from the person who made you feel safe enough to become your true self? How do you give up on the one who loved you exactly as you were, without asking you to change?
He didn't just love me—he brought out the version of me I never knew existed. With him, I wasn't pretending. I wasn't hiding. I was simply... me. And that is a kind of love you don't replace.
I know this journey isn't easy. Waiting hurts. Missing him hurts. Loving someone from a distance hurts even more. There are nights when my heart feels exhausted, when I wonder if love alone is enough to survive this silence. But every time I think about giving up, my heart whispers the same answer.
"It's him."
And somehow, that answer is enough to keep me holding on.
Because some people don't just become a part of your life—they become a part of your soul. No matter how much time passes or how many miles stand between you, your heart continues to choose them, over and over again.
So I'll wait.
Not because waiting is easy, but because he's the one my heart has never stopped choosing. And until the day we meet again, I'll carry this love, this hope, and this pain together—because every piece of it belongs to him.
Every day I pray to God, asking Him to bring us back together. I trust Him deeply, because He can turn a “please, God” into a “thank you, God” in just a moment.
I believe He has the power to change everything when the time is right.
For now, I’ve changed my number and even switched from a smartphone to a simple button phone. He doesn’t know my new number. And yes… a part of me still wants to give it to him, but I can’t.
I keep thinking he might try to call the old number. And when he does, it will be switched off. I also know him well enough to believe he might try to find my number through my brother, or maybe just wait until I reach out on my own.
I’ve decided to keep my phone off until July 30. It’s not about punishing him or testing anything. It’s just… I need this silence for a while. Even then, I’m not saying I’ve stopped waiting.
Because I still am.
Sometimes I wonder if silence brings clarity, or if it just creates more distance that neither of us knows how to cross. I tell myself I’m being strong, but the truth is I’m just trying to survive the space between missing someone and not being able to reach them.
I keep questioning whether love is supposed to feel like this—so quiet, so uncertain, yet so persistent. And even when I try to distract myself, some part of me always circles back to him, like it never learned another direction.
I still believe that if something is meant to return, it will find its way back—no matter how many numbers change, no matter how much distance is created. Until then, I’ll stay in this waiting, holding my feelings quietly, not forcing anything, just letting time do what it needs to do.
And somewhere deep inside, I still hope that when the time is right, everything will reconnect the way it’s supposed to.
When we stop chasing somethings and let it free, it will find its way back to us.