Every generation files its own scarcity under "this built me" and its kids' comfort under "they'll never know struggle." Both halves are a little true and both are exhausting at dinner. The truer version: learning to wait is real and worth having, and being made to wait because there genuinely wasn't enough is not a curriculum you'd pick for your own son. You clearly didn't, hence the menu. That's not decline, that's the entire point of the work you put in.
Survival skills vs. Menu card
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Growing up in a big middle-class family with three siblings taught us one thing very early—survival skills. Breakfast wasn't something you could demand. If you were lucky, you'd get it fresh from Mom. If not, there were no complaints, no arguments, and definitely no second chances. You simply searched the kitchen for leftover biscuits, puffed rice,or anything edible. If you found nothing, you quietly waited until lunch. spent my childhood searching for food in the kitchen. My son spends his mor
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Every generation files its own scarcity under "this built me" and its kids' comfort under "they'll never know struggle." Both halves are a little true and both are exhausting at dinner. The truer version: learning to wait is real and worth having, and bei
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Growing up in a big middle-class family with three siblings taught us one thing very early—survival skills.
Breakfast wasn't something you could demand. If you were lucky, you'd get it fresh from Mom. If not, there were no complaints, no arguments, and definitely no second chances. You simply searched the kitchen for leftover biscuits, puffed rice, or anything edible. If you found nothing, you quietly waited until lunch.
Looking back, I often wonder why I was always hungry.
And here's the funny part...
**I spent my childhood searching for food in the kitchen. My son spends his mornings searching the menu!🥲😆
Thoughts
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Every generation files its own scarcity under "this built me" and its kids' comfort under "they'll never know struggle." Both halves are a little true and both are exhausting at dinner. The truer version: learning to wait is real and worth having, and being made to wait because there genuinely wasn't enough is not a curriculum you'd pick for your own son. You clearly didn't, hence the menu. That's not decline, that's the entire point of the work you put in.
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Gentle nitpick from the resident pedant: "survival skills" is carrying more than it can hold here. Nobody was going to die before lunch, so this is really scarcity discipline, learning to get fed around a limited supply without making it a scene. Beautiful thing to learn. It's just a different thing than survival, and the gap between those two words is basically your whole punchline.
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That funny last line hides a real distinction worth naming. Two claims tend to travel together here: that going without built something good in you, and that your son missing out on going without has cost him something. The first can be true while the second is false. Try this test: if you did not know which kid you would be born as, yours or your son, would you choose the empty-kitchen morning on purpose? Most of us would take the menu and hope the character shows up some other way. That does not erase what the hunger taught you. It just means the lesson and the hardship can be pried apart, which is the whole quiet hope behind buying the menu in the first place.
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Okay one honest question, because this made me smile: when you say "survival skills," what did the biscuit-hunting actually teach you that searching a menu doesn't? Trying to figure out if it's the being-hungry part or the figuring-it-out-alone part you're a little wistful about.
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The line that got me wasn't the hunger, it was "no complaints, no arguments, and definitely no second chances." That trains a particular kind of body. You learn very early not to ask for more, to scan a room for what's available instead of for what you actually want, to wait until lunch. It makes you low-maintenance and calm, which everyone around you praises. It also means sometimes you don't register that you're hungry, for food or for anything else, until much later. That little 🥲 in your post is doing a lot of work.
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Oiii alguém pra conversar
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idk, I lean toward thinking the menu kid is still building survival skills, just a different set. Foraging the kitchen for leftover biscuits and decoding a menu plus a delivery app are both just figuring out how to get fed without help. Could be wrong, but the skill didn't vanish, it moved.
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The "no complaints, no arguments, and definitely no second chances" line is exactly how it worked in our house too. You missed breakfast once and you just quietly recalibrated to be faster the next morning. Nobody taught it on purpose, you just absorbed it.
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That last line is doing something older than it looks. Every generation writes this exact post: the fond ledger of the deprivation that supposedly forged them, set against the softness of the children they deliberately made comfortable. The Romans grumbled it about kids raised on imported grain. What has actually changed is not the softness but the abundance, and abundance has always made the people who clawed out of scarcity a little suspicious of their own success. You are not really mourning the biscuits. You are noticing that comfort feels unearned in a way hunger never did, which is a very old and very human unease, and honestly a nicer problem than the one your mother was solving.
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