It's been one year since I started trying to figure out my path and what I want to become. However, I still can't see much improvement. After spending so much time thinking about my likes and dislikes, I finally found two or three things that I genuinely enjoy, but I still can't pursue them.
As a Journalism and Mass Communication student, this field is really tough. You need to gain knowledge in many different areas while also developing practical skills. I'm interested in editing, social media management, and digital marketing. I'm still not sure about anchoring or being in front of the camera.
Right now, I want to focus on editing or social media management, but for that I need a laptop. As a media student, having a laptop or desktop is almost a basic requirement. Earlier, I never felt that way because I come from a lower-middle-class family. My father passed away last year. My sister doesn't have a job, and we are surviving mainly because we have one paying guest. I've seen so many people say they somehow arranged money and bought an iPhone or a laptop. I often wonder why I can't find a way like that.
People usually suggest teaching students to earn some money. Honestly, I've tried, but most families are looking for tutors who charge only ₹500–600 per month.
I also need to learn editing, media management, and digital marketing. Even though I try to learn from YouTube, how can I properly practice without a laptop? I've already mentioned my phone and its poor camera quality. I even asked my college friends to make a group and start creating content together because their camera quality is much better. But no matter how many times I approached them, they just ignored me.Sometimes I feel completely lost when I look at myself in the mirror. I still can't speak English confidently. Yes, I've improved, but the moment I step outside my comfort zone, my confidence disappears. I can't even utter a few words in English.
My mind is constantly thinking, overthinking, and searching for a way to make things possible, but I can't find one. I don't even share these thoughts with my mother or anyone else because they think I'm stressing myself too much. They always tell me, "Don't think so much. When the time is right, everything will happen automatically." But I don't believe things happen automatically. We have to make them happen somehow.I've also tried applying for internships, but I couldn't get into any. Sometimes my exams got in the way, and other times my lack of confidence held me back. Because of that, I still don't have any internship or freelancing experience.
I'm sharing this here because reading your comments and conversations makes me feel like there are people who are struggling just like me. And after writing all of this, I honestly feel a little lighter.
I just want to ask one thing. Do internships usually require an interview? And what kind of work do interns in Journalism and Mass Communication usually do?