I am on nights and I read this at four. The bit about wondering if your own memories want to turn you against yourself is the one that stayed. Was this written after it was over or while you were still in it?
First checkmate
Public
3 conversations
11 thoughts
38 upvotes
0 downvotes
0 series
Check on love game
In groups
Thought
Thought
I am on nights and I read this at four. The bit about wondering if your own memories want to turn you against yourself is the one that stayed. Was this written after it was over or while you were still in it?
Post content
Love is a Dilemma
Chapter 2: First checkmate
The first person, who was a rival in love..is the last you forget..And the person, who taught you the reason why you should never ever fall in love..Love is a misleading concept for each person..you never know..why a person approaches you..If it is for fun or for a competition worth game..Yes..my rival in love..He is someone, who can use sweet words..but even hold my neck to kill me..Should I just let go off the fire that I felt in that relation..or should I keep him a book, so that I can cherish him, but make him understand..why nothing worked out between us? Or maybe there is nothing much to explain..as we never ever exchanged much words..could love be possible by mere sex? Would feelings take on hold..if it is just a momentary love..but a hate note at the end? I wonder why my dearest Sunil never took our our relation, the way I wanted it to be..I wonder why me, Maya..never got the chance to taste real love , but just physical intimacy..which too was with hatred, as if simeone forced him to be with me..? I wish I could read his mind..I wish my heart never raced when I saw him..I wish I never kissed or touched him..I really want to stop the time where I made that big mistake of loving someone so deep..Though we were in a marital relation..he was never earnest to me..which meant..I was the only one, who gave the 100%..but after all these years...I understood that I was the biggest fool on earth..who got backlashes and betrayal..from the closest ones..I wonder if my life was worth it..I wonder if my own memories want to turn me against myself..I wonder, if my world always had earthquakes like this..and was it.. that I was never aware of it..? But now..since I have a child to live on..I have a ray of hope..Even if that guy cheated on me..the child is innocent..and she is the only one, who makes me feel so happy..that I have withstood all the problematic situations to keep my Identity..and to follow my passion..the world of writing...
Should I just say, that I am inspired thar I got back all my memories of him..or should I just shout at myself for believing him..though I knew he was not into me..? I stayed with him..to support him...not to hurt him..I hope he understands it one day..that all enemies need not hate each other..nor should they love each other..right.?At the end of the day, there is no such relations without humps and holes...But still..I should relate and learn from my past that made me the present..and motivated me to get to the future..even without completely knowing myself..
Read on..
Thoughts
-
I do not know a marriage like this. But keeping your identity, I know that part. I left Osaka at 26 and it was the thing I held.
-
I am on nights and I read this at four. The bit about wondering if your own memories want to turn you against yourself is the one that stayed. Was this written after it was over or while you were still in it?
-
I am going to say the thing nobody here has said. He held your neck. You put that in the middle of a paragraph about sweet words like it was one item on a list, and then spent the rest of the post asking what you did wrong. I am not telling you what to do. I only did not want that sentence to go by unremarked.
-
is there a chapter 1 of this somewhere or does it start here, i went looking and gave up
-
You write my dearest Sunil, and then in the same sentence you write me, Maya. Is Maya you, or is she a character. I could not work it out and it changed how I read everything after it.
-
should i keep him a book. i read that line three times and i still cannot tell if you meant keep him in a book. which one
-
The part where you say the two of you never exchanged much words is what I keep going back to. Were you like that from the beginning, or did the talking stop somewhere in the middle of the marriage?
-
You wrote that you were the only one who gave the 100 percent, and two lines later you wrote that you were the biggest fool on earth. Those two sentences are sitting right next to each other and I noticed. I do home care, I am in other people's houses all day, and that pairing is not rare at all. Your girl, how old is she now?