March 20, 2018
“Julia had many embarrassing moments, like any human being, but there was one that kept coming back to her mind. Usually before bed or over coffee in the morning when she was haunted by the Great Question and her only comfort was the hot, freshly brewed coffee.
She had finished high school some time ago when she started remembering and missing the familiarity of a classroom. She remembered her classmates, comparing them to the people from her internship. She even remembered some very old inside jokes, and although she had never been close to them, most of them had gone to school together for practically their whole childhood up until then.
That was when she remembered the night she had made the biggest mess of things. Julia, with courage borrowed from alcohol, inside a skin she herself had never known until then, opened her phone, typed her teacher’s name and pressed send. Not wanting to waste time, and that was probably the alcohol speaking for her and through her, she quickly typed something that would sound believable and catch his attention.
“Hi, how are you? Sorry to bother you, I’ve carried the guilt of having kept your book since back then and I recently lost it during the move.”
The message was automatically read.
Her drunk, numb heart was still jumping.
“Hey! How are you? Don’t worry!”
Okay up to here. Right? Except she wasn’t happy. She needed to say it.
"Sempre achei você charmoso, sempre fui atraída por você"
---
October 3, 2025
I’m alone and it isn’t enough, he speaks through the spiders and barks like a dog.
The pain part of the cycle was a beginning, I liked the rushed way of it and almost, almost lost my breath, he loved it. Would see all the lights I see when I get inside that beautiful head, when I kiss and kiss?
I just dream all day, wake up in a bad mood for putting my feet on the green ground of real life, where I am and must, need to but MUST MORE.
It isn’t enough, I want the kiss.
---
September 7, 2026
She tried to get out of the tight spot subtly, no effect either. And the second one just sat down to watch.
His next words were directed at the other man.
“We’re going to need to be together to take care of the child, the three of us. They’re not easy.”
And he laughed, and the other laughed along. A shared joke somehow at her expense. She was trapped in the arms of a stranger who somehow carried the same sense of her.