i think i learned how to cry
before i learned how to laugh.
sometimes you lose
before you know
there was a game.
small hands
reaching for things
already moving away.
small hands
reaching for things
already moving away.
boys i liked
never saw me.
the friends i craved
forgot my name
in crowded hallways.
somewhere,
another race ended
with the wrong anthem
echoing through the speakers.
funny,
how hope survives
on such little oxygen.
stranger still,
how easily
i stopped expecting it to.
so tell me, God—
am i waiting
or am i just
becoming someone
who waits?
...
i'm only asking
to stop feeling
like a platform
where every train
slows down,
lets the light spill out,
and leaves
without me.
i'm so tired
of mistaking
almost
for eventually.