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1.- Monotonia

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Como rompes la rutina?

Sinceramente no sé con exactitud los años que llevamos juntos, quince? diecinueve?, no lo se...

Hace 10 años me convertí en madre por primera vez, luego llegó el segundo y tercero, la relacion se desgasto. Las constantes peleas, el tiempo que yo dedicaba a solo ser madre y dueña de casa fue consumiendo todo de mi.

Los problemas de pareja cada vez van creciendo, por que? ... El bloqueo que cree de mi mente, corazón y sexualidad no me permiten fluir, no me permiten sentir. O quizas sea solo con el...

Siento a diario mi cuerpo cansado, mi mente agotada pero, no se calla, aveces creería que tengo un montón de voces y cada una me dice algo distinto que hacer. No logro avanzar

El se acerca a mi, pero solo se rechazarlo... por que ya no siento ese amor que un dia juro tener por mi. Sus acercamientos son solo sexuales y jamás en años se acerco a mi solo con la intensión de besarme, o abrazarme.

Cada beso, cada caricia llegan a mi sexo en busca de su propio alivio y no para provocar deseo en mi, aveces me pregunto si he creado inconscientemente un trauma al sexo? Conozco tan bien cada uno de sus gestos y miradas que trato de huir lo más rápido posible de la situación por que mi cuerpo no responde. A Veces cedo simplemente por vivir en paz, pero hasta cuando?

Pensaran... y por que no solo te vas? sinceramente me pesan los años que dedique para construir mi familia, el amor que sembre en mis hijos y mi hogar. Por que quizas aun siento amor por el hombre que conocí a mis 14 años, o simplemente me acostumbre a la monotonía de vivir con el.

Sin sentir amor, sin ser contenida ni entendida, sin poder realmente decir todo lo que mi mente grita.

Thoughts

  • Jorgeguzman

    ¿Por qué no solo hablas con el y le dices lo que piensas y sientes?

    A veces creemos que es inútil, te lo creería si ya lo hubieras hablado. Yo desde la fe cristiana te sugeriría acercarte al Señor y pedir sabiduría para tomar decisiones. No estoy a favor de maltratos, si el te trata mal lo mejor es que te vayas. Si no es el caso; lo mejor es que lo hables, que rompas ese silencio y es carga, ese peso que se siente en este escrito, si tú ya no sientes nada por el, lo mejor es que lo digas, siempre siempre la comunicación es la clave para todo. Sí sientes que todo está perdido, entonces no pierdes nada hablándolo, es mejor gritar lo que sientes a solo escribirlo, mil veces es mejor hablar, se desahoga mejor y se aclaran cosas.

    Dios te bendiga, el Señor escucha, clama a él y él te responderá.

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Como rompes la rutina?

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