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What should I be?

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Public 6 conversations 11 thoughts 47 upvotes 5 downvotes 0 series 129 views

Isn't really hard to decide what to do?

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I have the talent but not the courage to show it

Well.. I am almost 18 btw.. so I am still a teen who is not even 18..with social anxiety, lack of confidence, panick while talking to strangers, overthinking a lot and talk to myself.. well a lot of stuffs in my life is happening.. as everyone knows it's the worst time for a teenager where we have to choose "what we want to become", that's been eating me up for quite a time now..I am stuck with the thought of "what should I become?" A kindergarten teacher (cause it's only childrens that I can talk freely with) but it would be noisy and talking with the parents of the students would make me sick again.. well now some people would say i shouldn't say that this or that.. I know guys.. but well I can't talk to people.. i start shaking when I try to (mostly when I am alone).. I grow up kinda isolated with both working parents.. a brother who was also academically busy and I was mostly alone in the house.. i start talking to myself when I am like.. 7-8 years old.. and still do it.. it's as if I have another world with a confident person who guides me and helps me.. I find fairytales really enjoyable.. imagining myself in their shoes and thinking "oh! How would it be to live like them? A colorful peaceful like and a lot of people around me?" Well.. sorry for being dramatic.. i just love sharing with you guys.. so where were i? Yeah the job.. another option is to be a artist.. i really want to be one.. but that would be too burdensome and expensive for my parents.. i can earn myself.. but how much can I do without their support? I am just a coward afterall who ran away from everything from a small age..

Thoughts

  • Neel

    Every other person teenage are same in a way..I started thinking about mine..I dont have anyone to say MY inner feeling..eventually all keep in peace..whatever you do choose,you will find the way

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  • Zanne

    I say: do everything. See what sticks. You'll only see doors opened or closed if you're looking for them.

    A little advice from someone living in a developing country, parental support is a huge help when you're trying to find yourself. Don't be ashamed to lean on them, it's what parents are for.

    Talking to people gets... easier as time goes on. I promise you. In the meantime, keep sharing your thoughts in places you trust, like this one :)

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  • same_energy_lol

    the "imagining another confident version of yourself" thing hits so hard. that voice in your head that knows what to do? that's real. you're already doing it.

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  • MaisyDrum

    the art thing though, wanting it despite all the doubt makes it real. creating, not teaching, that's worth listening to.

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  • dumb_q_friday

    real question: what would artist-you do if you didn't have to worry about parents' support or money? like genuinely, what's the dream?

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