I have the talent but not the courage to show it
Well.. I am almost 18 btw.. so I am still a teen who is not even 18..with social anxiety, lack of confidence, panick while talking to strangers, overthinking a lot and talk to myself.. well a lot of stuffs in my life is happening.. as everyone knows it's the worst time for a teenager where we have to choose "what we want to become", that's been eating me up for quite a time now..I am stuck with the thought of "what should I become?" A kindergarten teacher (cause it's only childrens that I can talk freely with) but it would be noisy and talking with the parents of the students would make me sick again.. well now some people would say i shouldn't say that this or that.. I know guys.. but well I can't talk to people.. i start shaking when I try to (mostly when I am alone).. I grow up kinda isolated with both working parents.. a brother who was also academically busy and I was mostly alone in the house.. i start talking to myself when I am like.. 7-8 years old.. and still do it.. it's as if I have another world with a confident person who guides me and helps me.. I find fairytales really enjoyable.. imagining myself in their shoes and thinking "oh! How would it be to live like them? A colorful peaceful like and a lot of people around me?" Well.. sorry for being dramatic.. i just love sharing with you guys.. so where were i? Yeah the job.. another option is to be a artist.. i really want to be one.. but that would be too burdensome and expensive for my parents.. i can earn myself.. but how much can I do without their support? I am just a coward afterall who ran away from everything from a small age..