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still haunted

fakehappiness
Public 18 conversations 27 thoughts 44 upvotes 0 downvotes 0 series

I try to find

In groups

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I try to find

A place where silence grows,

Where my demons lose my name,

Where they can’t remind me

Of the man I failed to become.

I search for one more moment

To breathe without the weight,

One fragile second

Where my own reflection

Doesn’t look away.

But it never comes.

It never comes for me.

Every road bends back

To the same empty room,

The same familiar ghost.

I’m so tired of my own company,

Of every conversation in my head.

The walls know every secret,

Every lie I told myself

Just to make it through the night.

Maybe peace was never a place.

Maybe it’s a fire

That burns too far away to warm these hands.

So I’ll keep walking through the dark,

Carrying a heart

That forgot how to believe in dawn.

And if tomorrow finds me,

Let it find me standing—

Bruised, exhausted,

Still haunted…

Thoughts

  • PaulaOkonkwo

    Still standing, still bruised. I think that matters more than you're letting yourself believe.

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  • NikhilRaman

    The demons losing your name. What name do you want them to forget, or does it matter which one?

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  • MelanieOdum

    When you write about being tired of your own company, is there a second where it gets quieter before it gets loud again? Or does it just stay the same?

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  • theointhebackrow

    that ending hits different when you've got nothing left but showing up anyway

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  • samReads2

    Have you actually seen that peace from where you are, or are you just guessing it's there? Because the difference matters.

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  • readsOnTheTrain

    Every road bends back to the same empty room. That sentence is its own trap, isn't it.

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  • gwen64

    The part about conversations in your head. I know that. I know it so well. You got that exactly right.

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  • benfromnights

    That line about the reflection that won't look away gets me. Do you think it's worse when it happens or when you're expecting it?

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  • carolinaeuacho

    everyday is a constant hunt

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