I look upon my species,
and I see the wrongs they do.
I see the wrongs they commit,
the atrocities they inflict upon one another—
man against woman,
woman against man,
human against human.
And I cannot defend either side.
Not my gender.
Nor the other.
Because I have seen the cruelty of men.
I will never deny it.
I have seen the violence,
the abuse,
the destruction,
the things men have done to women,
to children,
and even to one another.
But I have also seen the cruelty of women.
I have seen women hurt men,
destroy reputations,
weaponize accusations,
tear down other women,
and sometimes use the very systems
created to protect them
as weapons against the innocent.
And yet—
I cannot look at one side
and declare it evil.
Because the moment I do,
I become blind to the other.
There are good men
and terrible men.
There are good women
and terrible women.
There are victims who later become perpetrators,
and perpetrators who were once victims.
There are people who lie
and people who tell the truth.
People who love,
and people who destroy.
People who protect,
and people who exploit.
And sometimes,
the same person can be all of these things
at different moments in their life.
So where is the line?
Where does good end
and evil begin?
Where does justice become vengeance?
Where does protection become control?
Where does accountability become persecution?
Perhaps there is no simple answer.
Perhaps there never was.
Then I look at the world we have created
and I look at the media.
And I wonder what we are teaching
the next generation.
We tell girls what their bodies should look like.
We tell boys what their bodies should look like.
We tell women what they should desire.
We tell men what they should become.
A girl learns that she must be beautiful
to be worthy.
A boy learns that he must be strong
to be worthy.
She is taught to fear becoming unattractive.
He is taught to fear becoming weak.
She is told that her body is not enough.
He is told that his body is not enough.
And slowly,
both begin to look into the mirror
and see an enemy
where there should have been a human being.
We criticize the media
for teaching young women
to sexualize themselves,
to measure their worth through appearance,
to believe that beauty is the highest form of value.
And rightly so.
But we must also ask
what the media teaches young men.
That height determines worth.
That money determines worth.
That strength determines worth.
That masculinity must always be performed.
That vulnerability is weakness.
That rejection means inadequacy.
That their bodies must look a certain way
for them to be worthy of love.
And somewhere along the way,
we stop teaching children
how to become good human beings
and start teaching them
how to become desirable ones.
Then we wonder
why they grow up insecure.
Why they hate themselves.
Why they hate each other.
Why men become afraid of women.
Why women become afraid of men.
Why people begin seeing relationships
as battles instead of connections.
And the saddest part is—
both sides believe
they are the ones being forgotten.
Men say,
"Nobody understands what we go through."
Women say,
"Nobody understands what we go through."
And perhaps...
both are right.
Perhaps the problem is not
that one side suffers more.
Perhaps the problem is
that we have become so consumed
with proving whose suffering is greater
that we have forgotten to listen
to the suffering beside us.
I look upon my species
and I see no perfect side.
I see men capable of extraordinary kindness
and unimaginable cruelty.
I see women capable of extraordinary kindness
and unimaginable cruelty.
I see people who protect strangers
and people who destroy those closest to them.
I see love.
I see hatred.
I see justice.
I see injustice.
I see truth.
I see lies.
And I see humanity standing somewhere
in the middle of it all.
Not entirely good.
Not entirely evil.
Not entirely right.
Not entirely wrong.
Just human.
And perhaps that is the truth
we are most afraid to accept:
That there is no battle between
men and women.
There is only humanity
trying to understand itself.
And perhaps...
before we ask
which gender is right,
we should ask
what kind of human being
we are choosing to become.