Death Valley feels less like a national park and more like an environmental hazard with signage. It's in the name and Europeans still book flights to the US to go and die here.
People talk about the silence and desolation like it’s spiritually profound, but after about six hours you start realizing the scenery is basically just increasingly expensive versions of “rock.” Tan rock. Red rock. Sharp rock. Crunchy salt rock. Extremely hot gravel. Somewhere around your third scenic overlook your brain starts buffering. Look, just turn off your Wifi at home and you get about the same insightful spiritual experience.
And yes, I know it’s the hottest place in North America. Congratulations to it on that achievement. Personally, I don’t enjoy outdoor destinations where every informational plaque sounds like it was written by a liability lawyer.
“Do not attempt this hike after 10 AM.”
“Carry one gallon of water per person.”
“People have died here.”
Awesome. Fantastic vacation energy. Will do.
This one is different from the rest of my entries in this series. I haven't been. I don't need to, the picture above says it all. This time DO judge the book by it's cover and stay away. The cover, the title, the summary, the reviews and the intro tell you to stay away. It's not normal heat. Not “summer day” heat. The kind of heat that makes you understand why ancient civilizations worshipped the sun. It was not out of love, it was out of fear.
And the thing is, Death Valley is visually impressive in a brutal, alien sort of way. But eventually the entire experience starts feeling like you voluntarily drove into the world’s largest open-air oven just to look at rocks and die. It's Death valley not "Best vacation of my life Valley". Go if you wish, I will not.