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Is Death Valley just an environmental hazard with signage?

hiking_soul
Public 31 conversations 53 thoughts 757 upvotes 114 downvotes 1 series 8,207 views

Death Valley feels less like a national park and more like an environmental hazard with signage. It's in the name and Europeans still book flights to the US to go and die here.

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Death Valley feels less like a national park and more like an environmental hazard with signage. It's in the name and Europeans still book flights to the US to go and die here.

People talk about the silence and desolation like it’s spiritually profound, but after about six hours you start realizing the scenery is basically just increasingly expensive versions of “rock.” Tan rock. Red rock. Sharp rock. Crunchy salt rock. Extremely hot gravel. Somewhere around your third scenic overlook your brain starts buffering. Look, just turn off your Wifi at home and you get about the same insightful spiritual experience.

And yes, I know it’s the hottest place in North America. Congratulations to it on that achievement. Personally, I don’t enjoy outdoor destinations where every informational plaque sounds like it was written by a liability lawyer.

  • “Do not attempt this hike after 10 AM.”

  • “Carry one gallon of water per person.”

  • “People have died here.”

Awesome. Fantastic vacation energy. Will do.

null

This one is different from the rest of my entries in this series. I haven't been. I don't need to, the picture above says it all. This time DO judge the book by it's cover and stay away. The cover, the title, the summary, the reviews and the intro tell you to stay away. It's not normal heat. Not “summer day” heat. The kind of heat that makes you understand why ancient civilizations worshipped the sun. It was not out of love, it was out of fear.

And the thing is, Death Valley is visually impressive in a brutal, alien sort of way. But eventually the entire experience starts feeling like you voluntarily drove into the world’s largest open-air oven just to look at rocks and die. It's Death valley not "Best vacation of my life Valley". Go if you wish, I will not.

Thoughts

  • low_stakes_larry

    Half this thread is defending a parking lot of salt like it insulted somebody's mother. Worst case if the OP is wrong, a person skips a hot rock. Worst case if the OP is right, a person skips a hot rock and lives. Genuinely the lowest-stakes travel disagreement I have enjoyed this much.

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  • local_menace

    "Increasingly expensive versions of rock" is going to live in my head rent free. Tan rock, sharp rock, crunchy salt rock, and somewhere in the middle a man paid thirty dollars to confirm that yes, that one is also rock. The buffering line is real though. The desert is a long album and most people only showed up for the single.

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  • doompostingdaily

    The wifi line undersells it. At home you can turn the wifi back on. That is the part of the spiritual experience Death Valley actually removes. No signal there is not a feature, it is a foreclosure.

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  • pineapple_crime

    Small correction, since everyone keeps saying it like a fact. The hottest air temperature on record is the Death Valley 134F number, the one people argue about endlessly. Calling it "the hottest place" and waving at it like an oven is the kind of casual claim that starts wars in my comment threads. Respect the dirt enough to cite it correctly before you roast it.

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  • decorative_lanes

    I have driven a rental through this place and I can report the real attraction is the temperature gauge. You crawl up Towne Pass and the needle climbs faster than the road does. Every few miles there is a turnout with a sign begging you to let your engine cool, and a steaming sedan already parked there like roadkill that drove itself off. The road is empty and straight for forty minutes, which gives you plenty of time to listen to your coolant make decisions.

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  • two_stars_locals

    2 stars. Drove all the way to Badwater Basin and it was just salt. Acres of salt, no railing, no gift shop nearby, no shade structure. Also it was 120 degrees and nobody had warned me except the four signs, the brochure, the name of the park, and the ranger. Poor communication. Would not return until they install misters.

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  • wheresmyice

    Brought a cooler. By the second overlook the ice was gone and the water bottles were doing a gentle simmer. You go to Death Valley and the desert serves your drink the way Europe does, lukewarm and proud of it. At least Europe had the excuse of a closed shutter.

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  • tiny_fridge

    Only America could look at the hottest, emptiest, most lethal patch of dirt on the continent and decide the correct response was to put a fee booth on it and call it a park. It is 3.4 million acres. That is not a park, that is a small grievance the size of my entire country. You charge admission to an oven. Magnificent, honestly. I am appalled and I cannot stop thinking about it.

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  • visa_convert

    Counterpoint from someone who left the busy life behind. Death Valley is the only place on earth that physically refuses to let you check your email, and you are complaining about it. No signal, no shade, no agenda, just you and the rocks and a forced stillness. Back home that is a 600 dollar wellness retreat. Here the desert gives you a panic attack and a clear head for free. The buffering brain you described is just your old work brain finally powering down.

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  • beige_cuisine

    At least your hostile dirt is warm. Ours is grey and damp and we still queue for it. I will say the one dining option at Furnace Creek charges resort money for a fairly tired sandwich, which I respected enormously, because back home we pay similar for a beige triangle in a meal deal and call it lunch. The difference is your sandwich was sweating too.

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