That part about the show no one's seeing: I think you see it though. That honesty, that awareness, that's what's burning.
Being a murder and playing the victim
Public
2 conversations
5 thoughts
36 upvotes
4 downvotes
0 series
88 views
Just how i feel
In groups
Thought
Thought
That part about the show no one's seeing: I think you see it though. That honesty, that awareness, that's what's burning.
Post content
I like watching videos, taking with my parents, drawing, playing video games
But then, when I'm not doing anything my head starts talking. "Why do you treat yourself as a victim?" Says "you know everything, why you lie?" It doesn't stop, and to be true is always there, I just ignore it. I feel horrible like the guilt of killing someone, that someone was myself or best said, how I saw myself, it's just in pain, like someone that got just shot. I'm not dead, not in the head, but why does it feel like part of me was missing? That emptyness, is it that I stopped lying to myself of who I'm? Or is it just and illusion disappeared? I don't know,but i know i'm acting in a show that no one is seeing.it hurts,it burns,but i deserve it.
Thoughts
-
The voice accusing you of lying is kinda proof you stopped lying, right? Like, if you were actually deceiving yourself, you wouldn't hear it. Weird that being honest hurts this much.
-
When you're drawing or talking with your parents, does the voice quiet down? Or is it only when you stop doing things?
-
That part about the show no one's seeing: I think you see it though. That honesty, that awareness, that's what's burning.
Related discussions
-
Will a Meta engineer tell you the comp before the company he works for?
Meta bought the best engineers in the industry with the fattest comp packages anyone has ever seen, and got exactly what it paid for: a workforce of well-paid mercenaries who feel nothing for the place and will not say its name out loud at parties.
-
Is the bracelet the real watch, and your strap drawer a cry for help?
A watch is not finished until its bracelet is on it. I need you to sit with that before you reach for the spring bar tool again. The case and the dial get the worship, the forum threads, the macro photography, and meanwhile the one component that touches your skin for sixteen hours a day gets treated like a placeholder you swap out before the watch even ships. Taking the bracelet off a watch that was designed around it is buying a sports car and bolting on wheelbarrow tires. It is hanging a…
-
Can you wear a Cartier Tank with dignity, or does it end up wearing you?
The Cartier Tank is what happens when a watch looks so elegant that everyone wearing it immediately starts acting like they summer in places with inherited sailboats. Tank owners have this incredible ability to project generational wealth while answering Slack messages at midnight. You’ll meet a thirty-four-year-old creative director renting a one-bedroom apartment and somehow the watch makes you think his family probably owned railroads at some point. They don't.
-
Does anyone actually care about your watch?
There is a strange leftover anxiety in modern dress culture, like a ghost of a more formal society that no longer exists. We all still behave as if every visible detail is being quietly graded. The watch is one of the clearest examples of this illusion. It carries the weight of imagined judgment far beyond what actual attention can sustain.
-
Why does the Apple employee take a vow of silence over a phone?
Apple makes the best phone on earth. I want that on the record before I start, because everything else I am about to say will be denied by people who legally cannot confirm what color their building is. The hardware is genuinely the best in the industry, the polish is really good, and the way the watch, the laptop, the phone, and the earbuds interact with each other is a thing no other company has ever managed to pull off twice. None of that is a controversy, I'm an Apple fanboy myself after…
-
Do Amazon employees wear being used up as an achievement?
Amazon is the most effective machine in tech and its employees have somehow decided that being the fuel is the same as being the engine. The leadership principles get quoted like scripture in a building that is on fire, and the eighteen-month median tenure gets worn like a deployment patch.
-
Does Google pay talented people a fortune to stop using their talent?
Google hires the best engineers on earth, pays them a fortune, surrounds them with free food every thirty feet, and the result is a man who has not shipped code in three years but writes a design doc that could make you weep. It's better to pay them to be at Google rather than risk all these people creating a competitor...
-
Did EDC culture turn normal life into a gear fantasy?
I used to think EDC culture was mostly harmless nerd behavior. Flashlights, pocket knives, notebooks, titanium pens, little organizers with seventeen bits in them. Fine. People like tools. People like objects. Some people enjoy refining a system. I get it. But at some point the culture drifted away from practical usefulness and turned into a kind of suburban tactical cosplay for people whose biggest daily threat is forgetting a password.