I haven't been able to sleep properly in days. Every time I look at my wife sleeping next to me, with her belly round at 35 weeks, my chest tightens. A baby is supposed to bring pure joy, but right now, every tick of the clock feels like a deadline I’m terrified of missing.
A few days ago, out of nowhere, I was laid off. The company downsized, and just like that, the safety net we built vanished right before the finish line. No warning, no buffer. Just me, standing in an empty room, wondering how I'm going to take care of everything my family needs in less than a month.
I refused to just sit there and crumble in front of her. I couldn't let her carry this stress when she needs peace the most.
Out of sheer panic, love, and desperation, I opened a computer and started teaching myself digital vector art from absolute scratch. I’ve been staying up until 3 or 4 AM every single night, eyes burning, learning new tools and trying to build something out of nothing.
I’m not typing this to beg or ask for pity. I just needed to put these words somewhere because carrying this complete facade of "everything is going to be fine" in front of my family is exhausting. I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m going to keep pushing and fighting until my baby is in my arms.
If you'd like to support my journey or check out the vector art packages I’m creating from scratch to support my family, you can visit my store here: https://ko-fi.com/jhandcrafted
To any father or mother out there fighting an invisible battle in the dark tonight: don't give up. We’ll get through this somehow.